One Big Happy

I was running the vacuum when the doorbell rang. Continue reading

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Just a Pepper

She says: What is this?

He says: It’s the pepper you asked me to buy.

She says: No, it’s not. I told you Continue reading

Like a Good Neighbor

Good morning, neighbor.
What a lovely surprise.
My gosh, you’re pale as a ghost.
A problem, you say?
Come in, come in.
We can talk over tea and wheat toast.
How was your trip?
Did you take lots of pictures?
Your man must be happy you’re back.
Forgive my appearance.
I’m sick as a dog,
And probably smell like dead yak.
Your husband’s sick too?
Well, that’s a real shame.
I guess it’s going around.
What do you mean?
What are you saying?
I’m sorry, you’ll have to expound.
You found my lace panties.
No reason to hurl them.
I swear it’s not what you think.
My washer broke down.
I had nothing to wear.
I was in and out in a blink.
What’s that you’re holding?
There’s blood on your shoes.
Oh no, what have you done?
It should never have happened.
I know it was wrong.
Please, just put down the gun.

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

I can’t look at you. Please leave.

No, not until we talk about this.

There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over. Continue reading