That Time I Turned Down Sex with Bradley Cooper

Last night I turned down sex with Bradley Cooper.

A Kiss on the Cheek

A thousand bees could sting me dead

A giant robot could stomp my head

Chris Hardwick and Katy Perry Rapping about Dr Pepper

I believe the advertising gods might’ve rung the wrong doorbell last night when they came to me in a dream and pitched a commercial featuring Chris Hardwick and Katy Perry rapping about Dr Pepper

Gordon Ramsay’s TV Crack

As I said goodbye to The Mindy Project tonight (loved the season finale), panic descended upon me. Summer programming is about to begin, and I fear Gordon Ramsay will make me his bitch once more. Goddamn Gordon Ramsay and his 5 million addictive shows. I always give in, and I always feel cheap afterwards. This year, I vow to just say ‘no.’

Time to excavate Game of Thrones from my closet and finally see what everyone’s talking about.

 

Update (July 26, 2014)

Sadly, I’ve relapsed. MasterChef’s got its hooks in me. Help me. Help me, please.

Sex with Johnny Depp? Nah.

When I was 17 years old, my two major celebrity crushes were Johnny Depp and Tom Cruise. I had a little scrapbook bursting with photos clipped from magazines, and every so often I would just flip through the pages and fantasize about my happily ever after. It looked a little like this:

Rogen and Franco’s Vogue Cover

Who knew Seth was such a bosomy fella? Rogen recently tweeted this spoof of Kim and Kanye’s Vogue cover. I think most of us can agree it’s a major improvement over the original.